By Daniel Miranda
“There’s no sign of the morning coming.
You’ve been left on your own,
Like a rainbow in the dark,
Just a rainbow in the dark.”
I turned my boom box up a notch and danced around my room playing air guitar and banging my head to the heavy metal rhythms. I could relate to the lyrics of songs like Ronnie James Dio’s “Rainbow in the Dark.”
My father entered my room with a scowl. “Turn down that dreadful music, boy! Your mother has a headache.”
“No!” I screamed in anger and turned the music up even louder. Never before had I manifested such ingratitude and hate towards my family, especially towards my mother who always sought to love and protect me.
Infuriated, my father grabbed my collection of CDs, threw them on the floor, and began crushing them underfoot. I stood in shocked rage, my clenched hands hot and itching to strike him in retaliation.
“Out!” he thundered, as he shut off the music and ordered me out of the only home I had known. “You are no longer welcome here!”
My story began in Colombia, South America, where I was raised in a humble Christian home as an only child. My parents already had adult children from previous marriages. I grew up lonely, precocious, introverted, and overprotected. I was often ridiculed by my so-called friends, classmates, and even extended family, causing me to harbor negative feelings against people in general.
Through idolizing famous heavy metal artists, the anger and hate in their music became part of me.
By the time I entered sixth grade, I felt dissatisfied with reality and struggled to understand the meaning of life. I questioned my existence and the origin of evil, and asked myself, Why am I here? Why do bad things happen to good people? Does God really exist or care?
I was introduced to the dark subjects of heavy metal music, in which I saw a supposed answer to my questions. I idolized the famous heavy metal artists like Bruce Dickinson, Ozzy Osbourne, and Ronnie James Dio. The anger and hate in their music became part of me. I learned to play the guitar and started a band with some friends. I adopted the heavy metal look—dark clothes, tight jeans, big boots, and long, wild hair.
Not only did my appearance change, but my behavior changed too. I went from being a respectful, caring teen to a rebellious, unloving person. I was transformed by what I was beholding. I attended heavy metal concerts and drank alcohol. I hung out in graveyards and walked through the mountains at night looking for evil spirits. I did things that I’m ashamed to even mention.
Now, through my own actions, I was facing the real possibility of living on the street. I was broke, and without money for rent, I couldn’t stay for long in the tiny room I had found. Food was scarce. My cherished clothes became worn and ragged.
One day, to my surprise, my nephew found me and handed me a wad of bills.
“What’s this?” I asked.
“It’s from your mom,” he replied. “She started washing clothes for people without your father’s knowledge so she could earn money to help you. She doesn’t want you to end up on the street. Go pay your rent.”
As I put the money in my pocket, my heart broke. I was shocked to see such unconditional love manifested towards a rebellious child like me. Even though it was disrespect toward her that had been the final straw for my father, my mother still showed me love. I began to remember the Jesus she taught me about as a child. I saw glimpses of God’s redemptive love through her and felt God’s Spirit working on my heart.
Several months later, I reconciled with my family and returned home. I began attending public evangelistic meetings. Not long after, I gave my life to Jesus. I found in Him what I couldn’t find in heavy metal—a real meaning and purpose for my life.
After my conversion, I was invited to study pastoral evangelism in the US on a scholarship. While I was there studying, my dad was diagnosed with stage four brain cancer. I was able to return home and spend some time with him before he passed away. During the last days of his life, I could see in his face the peace and satisfaction of seeing me fully involved in God’s work. I thank God that I experienced my conversion before he passed and that I was able to reconcile with him.
I used to view religion as something for weak people—a slavery to fill their voids. However, in reality, it couldn’t be more different. We all have voids and needs to be filled. But true happiness comes only from allowing Christ to fulfill our needs. Anything else results in unhappiness and brokenness.
The pleasures that the world offers are temporary. One can experience an emotional high, but once it is gone, the misery returns. There are many examples of how the rich and famous are unsatisfied with life. They have not found the “Chief among ten thousand” who “is altogether lovely.” Song of Sol. 5:10, 16. Jesus said, “And you shall know the truth, and the truth shall make you free.” John 8:32. I have indeed experienced the reality of this verse. How can people call what is ruining their health, happiness, life, and relationships “freedom”? That is not freedom; it is bondage.
It was by seeing glimpses of God’s redemptive love through my mother that I found the light of God’s love.
When I gave my life to Jesus, my life was turned upside down again, or rather, right side up. I could see the world in the real light of the controversy between good and evil. My questions and doubts were answered.
One of the first verses that impressed me was Romans 6:19: “I speak in human terms because of the weakness of your flesh. For just as you presented your members as slaves of uncleanness, and of lawlessness leading to more lawlessness, so now present your members as slaves of righteousness for holiness.” This verse taught me that I could replace my service to sin with service to Christ. I thought I would never be able to overcome my rebellious behavior, but as I spend time thinking about Christ, I am becoming more like Him.
I asked God to transform me completely and sanctify my stubborn and unbending character. He has transformed me into His servant, and now I am completely happy serving Him. I found the meaning of life, and that is loving and serving God and others.
In closing, I would like to encourage you with these words from a man who devoted his life to God from his youth. Speaking of his walk with God, David wrote: “You will show me the path of life; in Your presence is fullness of joy; at Your right hand are pleasures forevermore.” Ps. 16:11.
All verses quoted are taken from the New King James Version of the Bible.
Daniel Miranda is from Colombia, where he chaired the Bible and outreach departments at a Bible training school. He and his wife, Kelly, are currently pastoring the Orosi-Sanger SDA Church in California.