If you had lived in America a hundred years ago, you would have been familiar with the concept of an orphan train. Due to poverty and sickness, especially among the surging immigrant population from Europe, homeless orphans became a problem on the streets of eastern cities like New York. Well-meaning people decided that the children would have a better life if they were sent to the Midwest to help farming families. So, between 1854 and 1929, orphanages regularly sent groups of children west on trains.
Whenever the orphan train stopped, the children would get off and line up for inspection. Anyone could take a child home and return them to a train weeks or months later if they didn’t work out. By the time six-year-old Stanley Cornell and his little brother, Vic, reached Texas in December 1926, they had been chosen and then rejected by six families in the space of two years. Can you imagine?
The man who would raise the two boys as his own had never planned to take in a child from the orphan train. His neighbor had casually suggested it one day as they drove to town to buy supplies. Mr. Deger walked down the forlorn line of children and stopped to talk to Stanley. The agent traveling with the children encouraged the farmer to take both boys as Vic was clinging to his big brother’s hand, crying.
Mr. Deger agreed. His wife, waiting at home with their two girls, had no idea her husband had even stopped to see the children from the train. She thought this was the day he was going to buy her a sewing machine!
Stanley tells what happened: “Well, he drives up and goes in the house and says, ‘Mom, you and the girls go out and get the groceries out of the back seat.’ It’s snowing and blowing, but they go out there. When one of the girls opens the car door, they see blankets moving and hear voices. They jump back, and one of them squeals—it scares them!
“Finally, they pull off the blankets, and there are these two blond-headed kids eating candy. They pick us up and carry us into the house just like we were worth a million dollars! Boy, they gave us a good home. That was home!”
After many hard experiences, two little orphans now had somewhere to belong.1
Human beings are designed to belong. It’s often said to be our greatest need in this volatile world. A family is where God planned for us to feel a sense of belonging. In a family, children can feel securely loved, appreciated, and understood. It’s where they can feel needed and able to contribute to everyone’s well-being through their unique personalities, talents, and efforts.
Sadly, many people don’t have this experience in their family of origin or even in one they later form themselves. Emotionally and spiritually, many of us are on life’s orphan train and haven’t yet found a home.
But God understands our desire to belong. He has ways to meet this fundamental human need, and they all involve the concept of family. He also provides a way for us to extend our belonging to new levels of fulfillment and permanence. Let’s look at what the Bible says about finding a sense of belonging.
1. What does God do for the lonely?
Psalm 68:6 God sets the solitary in families.
In the original Hebrew, the word translated “families” means “houses.” The idea of family is often implied in the Bible usage of the word “house.” It can mean a family and others, such as servants, living as a household, or it may imply a lineage, as in “the house of Judah.” God wants to make sure that everyone has some close human connections, either in their own families or in other family-type settings.
2. What kind of family best provides a sense of belonging for solitary people?
Joshua 24:15 “And if it seems evil to you to serve the Lord, choose for yourselves this day whom you will serve.... But as for me and my house, we will serve the Lord.”
It’s especially encouraging to be around a family where God is honored, worshiped, and depended on. This kind of family can create a special sense of belonging because the members reflect God’s love to others. Godly families often draw in lonely people to share their warmth.
3. How can a church be like a family for those who come to it?
1 Peter 3:8, 9 Finally, all of you be of one mind, having compassion for one another; love as brothers, be tenderhearted, be courteous; not returning evil for evil or reviling for reviling, but on the contrary blessing, knowing that you were called to this, that you may inherit a blessing.
The apostle Peter wrote to the first-century church members, encouraging them to interact like loving brothers and sisters since they were all God’s children. Churches can be caring and family-like—places where there is unity in diversity and a sense of being valued and belonging. Then visitors will feel welcomed and wanted.
Jeremiah 1:5 “Before I formed you in the womb I knew you.”
Jeremiah 31:3, NIV “I have loved you with an everlasting love; I have drawn you with unfailing kindness.”
God is our Father, firstly, by creation: the Bible tells us He’s the one who gives us life. He knows us best and loves us most. Secondly, He can be our Father relationally. All our life He’s drawing us through kindness to come into a close Father-child bond of respect, love, dependence, and obedience.
2. What makes Jesus our Elder Brother?
John 1:1, 14 In the beginning was the Word, and the Word was with God, and the Word was God…. And the Word became flesh and dwelt among us, and we beheld His glory, the glory as of the only begotten of the Father, full of grace and truth.
Jesus (the Word) is a Brother to us because He became human as well as being God’s Son. He chose to be born into human nature so He could be close to us and experience our trials and suffering. More than that, He sacrificed His life for us so that by accepting His death to pay for our sins, we can belong with Him for eternity.
3. How can we know from the Bible that God the Father and His Son love, appreciate, and understand us?
Psalm 139:1‒3, 17, 18 O Lord, You have searched me and known me. You know my sitting down and my rising up; You understand my thought afar off. You comprehend my path and my lying down, And are acquainted with all my ways…. How precious also are Your thoughts to me, O God! How great is the sum of them! If I should count them, they would be more in number than the sand.
Hebrews 4:15, 16 For we do not have a High Priest [Jesus] who cannot sympathize with our weaknesses, but was in all points tempted as we are, yet without sin. Let us therefore come boldly to the throne of grace, that we may obtain mercy and find grace to help in time of need.
These verses speak for themselves. We are already known, understood, and loved much more than we can even imagine! But there’s more to belonging than just realizing these things.
1. What choice can bring our sense of belonging to a whole new level?
Matthew 11:28‒30 [Jesus speaking] “Come to Me, all you who labor and are heavy laden, and I will give you rest. Take My yoke upon you and learn from Me, for I am gentle and lowly in heart, and you will find rest for your souls. For My yoke is easy and My burden is light.”
Jesus was speaking to people who were used to seeing oxen yoked together with a wooden crossbeam, enabling them to walk in step. Together, they could move a heavy cart or plow that one alone would have struggled with. Though it’s not a familiar scene for us, we can get the point.
We struggle to make our way through life alone, picking our own direction. But Jesus invites us to unite with Him and help Him with His burden—showing God’s love to a selfish and lost world. If we choose to give our life and energies to Him daily, asking His forgiveness for our sins, our inner life takes a whole new direction. We gain a sense of His presence and His love for us as we prioritize moving forward by His side. We’re not alone anymore!
2. What is the life-altering result of making this choice?
Romans 8:15, 16 You received the Spirit of adoption by whom we cry out, “Abba, Father.” The Spirit Himself bears witness with our spirit that we are children of God.
God adopts us like orphans who need a loving family. We now know we belong!
3. What inner change takes place in a person who gives their life to Jesus?
Romans 5:5 Now hope does not disappoint, because the love of God has been poured out in our hearts by the Holy Spirit who was given to us.
It’s this love that makes all the difference in a lonely life. Not only do we sense the love of our heavenly family—the Father, Son, and Holy Spirit—for us, but we can now love them back. We can also overflow the love they give us to others.
4. Why else does this choice bring “next-level” belonging?
2 Corinthians 1:3, 4 Blessed be the God and Father of our Lord Jesus Christ, the Father of mercies and God of all comfort, who comforts us in all our tribulation, that we may be able to comfort those who are in any trouble, with the comfort with which we ourselves are comforted by God.
Whether it’s giving comfort or other aspects of godly love, we become part of a wonderful chain of kindness. Passing on—human to human—the love, appreciation, and understanding we receive from our heavenly family bonds us to our human families. It’s also our part in working with Jesus. It helps us feel needed and able to contribute in our heavenly family, completing our sense of belonging there. And good news—belonging to our heavenly family can be forever!
SUMMARY
God has made wonderful provisions to help us find a sense of belonging. If we embrace them, there’s no need to feel lonely anymore!
COMMITMENT
I would like to receive the blessing of fully belonging to God’s family and share the blessing with others.
1. “An Orphan Train Rider Tells His Story,” PBS Learning Media, pbslearningmedia.org, Aug. 28, 2023.
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