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Choices

I Was a Transgender Woman

The reprieve provided by surgery and life as a woman was only temporary.

By Walt Heyer

It was a pivotal scene. A mom was brushing a boy’s long hair when the boy slowly turned his head to look at her. In a tentative voice, he asked, “Would you love me if I were a boy?” The mom was raising her boy to become a trans-girl.

In that split second, I was transported back to my childhood. I remembered my grandmother standing over me and dressing me in a purple chiffon dress. The boy in that glowing documentary about parents’ raising transgender kids dared to voice a question I always wanted to ask: Why didn’t she love me the way I was?

I am haunted by that boy and his question. What will the trans-kids of 2015 be like 60 years from now? Documentaries and news stories only give us a snapshot in time. They romanticize and normalize the notion of changing genders to convince us that

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About the author

This article originally appeared in Public Discourse: Ethics, Law, and the Common Good, the online journal of the Witherspoon Institute of Princeton, NJ. Reprinted with permission. Walt Heyer is an accomplished author and public speaker. Through his website, SexChangeRegret.com, and his blog, WaltHeyer.com, he raises public awareness about the incidence of regret and the tragic consequences suffered as a result of unnecessary sex change surgery. His latest book, Trans Life Survivors, contains 30 stories of other regretters.

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